What is this?

I envy people who can make magic with words. I don't envy the people who use big words, or the people who write in poetic voices with frilly language; no, it's the people who can put simple words such as 'tomorrow' and 'lips' and 'excuses' and 'friends' and create a sentence that just fills the mouth and flows off the tongue in a way that makes you wonder how they did it in English.

 I think my love of imagery has taken over the writerly side of my brain. I am finding myself using pictures, or even other people's words to express myself and it seems that I more often than not lose the balance of images and text in my blog posts; I'm barely writing any fiction anymore and it hurts to say that because I feel like I've lost a part of my soul. Maybe it will come back; I don't know where it went or why it left, and maybe it's still in there and will appear again if I try to draw it out. It might be difficult and it might draw blood as well but that's why I'm writing this post right now, to try and bring the words out of myself without thinking. I'm just writing right now, not pondering what word to put next or stopping to backspace a sentence, or even checking for typos (I'll go back and fix them at the end). I'm waiting for something interesting to come into my brain that might make this blog a little more interesting for the reader ... I'm sorry if you find this boring and really, you don't have to read it, but it appears here so that I might find the part of myself that is missing. Perhaps you're helping me look if you're reading this.

It feels quite nice, looking at the post and seeing all the words cuddled up close to each other again. It feels like taking a loaf of bread and sitting on a part bench and tossing crumbs onto the sidewalk so the pigeons gather. All these little black letters piling onto the page look so cozy and it's making me feel warm again. I'm lying on my bed in my brand new red jacket with the cat sleeping on a folded sheet beside me. The heater is off and the lights are low so this room is actually quite chilly, but when I don't think about it too much I don't notice it.

We've just returned from Rockdale plaza ... is that what it's called? The word 'plaza' just popped into my head so I'm guessing that must be correct, but I've forgotten now. We bought new suitcases for Justin and I to use for our trip. They're bigger than anything we've ever had to put belongings in, which makes them sound huge I suppose but they're aren't really. Mine is gray and Justin's is blue. More exciting than the suitcases was the jacket and shirt I got for twenty-three dollars; very happy about them. And they're very comfy too. I had to put them on the second we got in the door of course, so I'm wearing them now and looking forward to going out again so that I can wearing my read Converse with my red jacket. I find it very exciting to be able to wear the same color top and shoes together in one outfit. I don't know if anyone else finds it quite as thrilling as I do but because it actually doesn't happen as often as I'd like it brings extra happiness when it does. I'm not sure if 'happiness' is really the right word to put there; it makes me sound materialistic, like I can be satisfied by a jacket and some shoes. Not really.

Speaking of satisfying things, I've begun reading the bible from start to finish, in hopes that I can complete one read-through of the epic before I go to Year 13 in a year and half's time. It's been three days and I've read 26 chapters of Genesis so I think that's a good start. I'm writing down the questions I have as I go. Don't you think it curious that the bible never mentions what happened to the Garden of Eden? I'd certainly like to know what happened to it. When did it get destroyed? When did the angel leave the gates? What happened to the tree inside? Did it wither away and die or did God just get rid of it? Did humans destroy it?  Did someone cut it down like George Washington and the cherry tree? These are all the sorts of questions that have come into my head so far, and there are many more. I'm finally getting around to physically writing the list of 'Thing to ask God when I get to heaven." I wonder if I'll ever get answers to them.

It's a terrible thought to think how long it's been since I've written a great chunk like this straight out, without adding any pictures or any other kind of imagery to this blog. I think I like it like that. Even though I feel horrible about not writing like this in so long, it is wonderfully satisfying to be doing so now. I just hope that I do it again very soon. I swear, it's feeding my soul right now, and even though I'm on the computer staring at a screen I'm getting the feeling that after I stop writing the blog my headache will have gone away. It's lessening already.

I'm going over to Kristen's house to sleepover tonight with her and Keira. I'm looking forward to it immensely but I'm a little disappointed about missing the trivia night at my church tonight, but I think I've made a better decision about which one to go to because Kristy is leaving the country very soon and it has been ever so long since I've spent time with Kristen and Keira together.

I really need to read more. I was reading Jessie's blog the other day and she's absolutely right when she says that not reading good literature lessens writing as well. At least, I think she said something like that. My brain is a little fuzzy at this present time. But really it's been so long since I've read the whole of any good book and I'm utterly hopeless about keeping track of what I'm reading and what I want to read. I have a massive mental list of all the books I want to read ... at least, I did, but they all seem to slip out of my mind quicker than I can read them. I've been spending too much time doing homework and too much time on facebook to read anything good ... but TAFE is nearly over now and I have blocked my facebook so if I can somehow compile a list of good books to read then I might be able to start making a dent said list. I can think of a few things now, and it seems appropriate to list them so I may as well go ahead while I've got them on my mind.

Firstly, I want to read more Terry Pratchett. That's the book I'm reading at the moment - Going Postal by Terry Pratchett. I've read very little of it but what I've read I really like, so I need to keep ging with it and hopefully get my hands on a copy of his first book in the Discworld series, and begin working my way slowly through those.

I also know I need to read some Jasper Fforde. My friends have been begging my to read his work and my friends are always right when it comes to books so I really ought to stop putting it off and listen to them.

After we get back from holidays I think I'm going to do the Great Books 2 uni course so I'll need to read those books too. From memory the list is Anna Karenina, Antony and Cleopatra, Wuthering Heights, and two others that have escaped me.... I do like Shakespeare and I did start reading Wuthering Heights so those two shouldn't be too difficult to get through. Anna Karenina on the other hand....

Continuing on, I want to read:

• The Messenger by Markus Zusak
• Atonement Child by Francine Rivers
• Some P.G Wodehouse (again, another writer that I know my friends are right about when they say I should read it) 

And yeah I can't think of anymore right now ... but I need to go get ready now anyway so I guess that will have to do. That felt good. More later, hopefully. Sorry if it bored you! But if you've skimmed to the bottom of this post, I can still ask - any suggested reading?