Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

May 15, 2012

Just gonna unload right here.

My brain is in a kind of sensory overload right now. I have to be at work tomorrow morning so I should totally be asleep but my brain was all YOU MUST WRITE and seeing as I haven't blogged it about a million years, here I am to unload all my current thoughts. Prepare for the word-vomit.

Firstly, I'm still overloaded from the interview I just had with one of the teaching guys at Sydney Film School. Pretty much got accepted. Celebrations will be had as soon as my 'letter of offer' arrives in the mail. Should be by next week. I'm pretty thrilled. Also really not keen to do the rest of the portfolio IFSS wants me to do, because my harddrive has crashed and so it means extra work to try and pull together photos. Haven't entirely ditched this possibility yet so will probably try a little for this next week.

Film school looks like it's going to be REALLY intense. I mean, the the teacher interviewing me today even kinda warned me it was intense. So I'm a little freaked out about that. Granted, everyone said that TAFE was going to be crazy intense and it really wasn't until the very last month. This, however, is probably a different story. Preparing myself for crazy-intenseness.

I have to say I'm a little worried that I won't be able to keep my cafe job if film school gets crazy. Every time I think about that my brain goes 'but you have to save money for your trip!' and then I try not to think about that. It will happen. It must. Also praying that something opens up at the dvd shop, because how cool would it be to study and film school and work in the dvd shop at the same time? I basically live there anyway....

Moving on to unrelated topics, I'm in the mood to right one of those average present-day kind of stories but have ZERO inspiration. Absolutely no scenes or key ideas are coming to mind. I can't even form a decent character or even decided on a name. It's killing me. I touched up a few scenes of the super power novel last week, but haven't done any writing since. Annoying. Got a crazy work week but hopefully some inspiration will come to me on my day off.

Been watching loads of movies lately, as per usual. Need to get back into some proper film reviews/ACTUAL BLOGGING, but for now will just list the stuff I've been watching lately to catch myself up:

Zodiac. David Fincher's true-story-about-a-serial-killer was quite brilliant. My love of Fincher has officially increased as expected. Also my love of Jake Gyllenhaal. Totally adorable.

The Godfather. YES I FINALLY SAW IT. Was a very good film. Keen for part two.

Rendition Road. Crappy film with a totally weak ending as I expected (was in the mood for something that required little thought), though half-decent acting from Ruffalo, Connelly and Phoenix. Also slightly depressing what with the 'bereavement themes' and all.

There Will Be Blood. Reallllyyyyyy strange, strange film. Beautiful cinematography though, so well worth it.

PIRATES! Caught one of the very last sessions in the cinema with Justin. Quite hilarious and very cute. Also a heavy user of this trope, unfortunately.... The amount of times we turned to each other and whispered "how is this G-rated?!"

Anyways, gotta go to bed. Would love to keep writing but my eyelid are drooping. Sleep beckons. Will lastly mention that I bought Film History: An Introduction by Bordwell and Thompson, it's big and fat and wonderful I can't wait to start reading it. Tata for now lovelies, glad to be back.

April 18, 2011

This is a story....

Good morning. I've done a shamefully small amount of blogging this month. And last month. And the month before that ... you get the idea - I've been a bit hopeless about this blog ever since I got back from America. It was hard to blog while I was away and so I've found it difficult to get back into it now that I'm home. I suppose I need to get better at it again, because blogging is such a nice outlet for writing things that aren't about characters or TAFE.

Speaking of TAFE, I'm here now, even though it's the holidays. I decided I'd spend the entire day in the library, because they keep it open for students to come and get their work done before term starts again. It's quite nice here right now, with just the hum of the electric tube lights and the murmur of a couple of interior design girls in the corner to keep me company while I write. No one is using the computers, which is quite amazing. Usually you get here in the term time to get something printed and every single computer is being used up by event management students and the graphic design kiddos all trying to finish off their stuff between classes. Grr. When it comes to computers, the set design students aren't nearly as annoying as anyone else, because if they're in the library it's so they can sit in the corner and fiddle with toothpicks and PVA glue. I think they have the most fun out of anyone here.

So, I came up with a new story idea the other night. Rather, I got slammed in the face with something epic, and in the middle of a CoD game I dropped the controller and scrambled for a pen and I wrote something down. I'll share it with you. This is what I wrote:

This is a story about a tiny town in which nothing had ever happened. 

It's about Lucy and the day the circus came to Chesterfield, and how the rain hadn't kept her and Noah away. 

It's about a lost boy called Marcus, who wasn't really a boy anymore.

It's about a girl with too many secrets, a magic box, a firebreather, and a code of cards. 

It's about a magician whose magic is real. 

It's about a dangerous plan, a locked door, and Lucy's search for the key.

And it's about finding love in the darkest of places. 

Well, I don't really know where all that came from because as far as a true plot ... I have next to nothing. But these characters and these images and feelings have come bursting into my head and I must write about them. I'm excited. I think this story is going to be one of discovery. I won't plan any more than what I have just written. I will just write, and see where it takes me. Off to go do that now. Be back soon :)

February 16, 2011

Wah.

You know those weighted blankets you can get for kids with autism to calm them when they're feeling overloaded? I wish I had one of those right now. I've been having trouble falling asleep lately, and I wish I had something to keep me in a tiny space where I could relax. I don't have a weighted blanket but when I came home from TAFE today I was feeling totally overwhelmed and distressed for absolutely NO reason whatsoever. Not even homework. Anyway, I needed something to calm me, so after dinner I started taking some chairs into my bedroom, and I borrowed the little fan from my parents room ... Dylan is sleeping over and he and Justin saw me doing this. The conversation we had went a bit like this:

Justin (watches me take chairs into my bedroom): What're you doing?


Me: Um ...


Dylan (light hearted sarcasm): She's building a cubby house, of course!


Me (looking awkward): Actually, I am...


The boys look at each other. Then look at me. We all laugh hysterically.

So yeah, I'm here in my blanket cubby typing this right now, still wishing I had a weighted blanket but feeling much better now, especially because I am accompanied by my beautiful little paperback copy of Never Let Me Go, which FINALLY arrived in the mail. I am only five chapters in and quite enjoying it. It's beautifully written; a little dark; very curious.

So, feeling stressed? Build a blanket cubby! Hide yourself away from the world for a little while. I promise, it will do wonders for your mental stability in times of stress. :)

February 2, 2011

"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and open a vein."

Hi again. Between uni work and rewriting I've been reading over the manuscript of my one-and-only complete work of novel length, The Seven Stones of Caliger. As you might expect from the title, I wrote it when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I keep a full copy of it in my room and take it out occasionally to remind myself that my writing has indeed improved over the last four years. I have to say, I'm incredibly proud of this 100,000+ word fantasy novel, because it assures me that I really can write a book and finish it, despite how awful and utterly unpublishable this particular book is. I'm yet to make it through a whole paragraph without thinking 'what?' in reference to sentence structure, character's emotional reactions, word choice, or even just the plot in general. Rather, the complete lack of plot. And the info-dumping! I'm on page 14 and already I've got a character explaining to the other leads why the bad guys are attacking and what will happen if they win ... literally while the characters are standing just outside the city gates because the city is CRUMBLING TO PIECES. *facepalm*

The beloved manuscript.

I feel slightly better knowing that my printed copy is not the latest draft, and thankfully Mr. Info-Dump was scrapped from the story. Unfortunately there are still many other appalling things that I am reading that I am sorry to say, still exist in draft thirteen. (No exaggeration on the draft number there - my younger self had not quite grasped the concept of "rewriting" and hence each "draft" only differed very slightly from the previous one, aside from random drastic changes such as killing off Mr. Info-Dump.)
Anyway, you'll be pleased to know that I no longer write like my thirteen-year-old self, and though I'm no Wodehouse by any stretch of the imagination, there is definitely evidence of a great improvement in my pen-wielding. You have my permission to celebrate that the literary creations of the thirteen-year-old Erin will never again be seen by the public, but hopefully something better. I apologize if you were one of the unfortunate souls who had to endure reading through this grueling manuscript a few years ago and probably cringed inwardly as you told a starry-eyed me, 'Yes dear, it's wonderful. With a little editing I think you could look at publishing it.'

Pretty thick book, huh?

Ahem. Yes. I'm terribly sorry for the pain I put you through, but please know that I am now thanking you from the bottom of my heart, because your words of encouragement were the ones that made me push on at my dream to become a writer. Now, four years later, my beloved Caliger is now called Collinsmere, and dear Christian, the MC, is not the bumbling pre-adolescent servant boy he started out as, but a dashing 19th century detective with a bit of a genius streak, and I am finally beginning to write the story that I have always wanted to.
You might be familiar with Eloquence, one of my current projects, and though they are yet to get the formal introduction they deserve, three of the stars from Caliger appear in this new book as the beautiful characters I'd always wished they could be. Back then my young self just didn't have the creational talent that they were demanding. But now things are different!
I really do hope in a year's time (or two) I'll be writing again on this blog about writing, and I'll be able to tell you that if you walk into a particular bookstore and go to a particular shelf you will see a book with my name on it. It probably won't be Eloquence ... that story took four years to formulate and I expect it will need another four to become a real work of art, but I'm telling you, the time is coming! I'm getting there. It's rather exciting. It will still take time, of course, but I'm finally get to the point where I can say, this will happen. And it's pretty darn awesome. :)
I suppose the funny thing about this post is that one day I'm going to look back on the stories I wrote when I was seventeen/eighteen and still be going 'what?', but hey, I'll only have something to look back on if I keep writing now. :)

All my story idea notebooks, dating from 2006 to the present.

I'll leave this post with one last thing - you might notice some new additions in my sidebar. Yes, I've got word count progress meters! You can see my current projects and how much I've written on each one, and what the current goal for them stands at. Please leave a comment for me if you notice that the bars haven't moved for a while ... it'll urge me to keep writing!

January 5, 2011

Happy Anniversary :)

It's my parents' 20th anniversary today. And I get a free sleepover out of it so that they can have the house to themselves haha. Thought I'd share with you this photo:


That's my Mumma about to walk down the aisle with her Daddy. Ain't she beautiful? I love this photo for three reasons:

* The excited/nervous looks on their faces

* The lovely lighting

* The way the photographer captured the sign that hangs above the door: "Jesus Christ the same Yesterday, Today, Forever"

Twenty years pass and everything around us changes ... but God is the one constant. He will never change.

January 1, 2011

How to know who your real friends are:

No matter what you do, or say, or feel in front of them...

...even at three in the morning....

You will not be judged.

You will be loved.

Here's to a whole new year of poetry readings, guitar strumming, singing, playing with fire and enjoying everything just the way it is. Let's stay this old forever :)

December 3, 2010

staring hard at the mess will not make it go away....

First off, a hippity happity birthday to Keira, because I know she'll read this at some point :)

Rah. I have thus far spent the morning cleaning various things and being overwhelmed by other untidy parts of the house, packing my bag for two sleepovers and hopping across the great fluffy carpet in the living room in an attempt to keep the nail polish on my toes unblemished. Also attempted to clean the snake cage but Alastor is (as his namesake) rahter Moody this morning and refuses to let my hand be inside his cage unless he can give it a good nip. Not nice, in my opinion.

I'm so excited for this weekend. Off to Katherine's place to roast s'mores with her and Beth tonight, then heading to Patrick's for his 18th, staying the night there and then coming home after church on Sunday and having two nights in the house with Keira, whilst the family is away camping. Shall be fun.

Hmmm. Felt like blogging but I quite obviously don't have that much interesting to say. Well, in other news I got my hair cut (yes, I did it - the Emma Watson/Mia Wasikowska cut), and I'll put pictures up in my next blog once I have photos.

Tata for now loves.

October 13, 2010

MIGHTY TO SAVE!

Hi guys,

So I'm here to update on my previous post about Yulia - our prayers have been answered!!! $20,000 were raised for her in less than a week - and now there is a wonderful family who is totally, unconditionally in love with her and they want to bring her home.

YULIA HAS A FAMILY! She is coming home. She will soon know how much she is loved. And hopefully, she will one day know how much Jesus loves her too. I am completely over the moon! How good is this news?!

Nothing is impossible for our amazing, wonderful, loving, mountain-moving God! Praise his name, for he is mighty to save! <3

If you'd like to read a little bit more about Yulia, click here. :)

September 16, 2010

Pray.


Today I read several blogs about families adopting young children from China, Ethiopia, and the Ukraine. The Lord has moved me through the words I read about the conditions in which these orphans live … I grieve for them and can only imagine how the Lord aches for them too. This is now my desktop background, so that I won’t forget what I have read today, and so that I will remember to pray every day for each and every child who does not have a family yet. I know that God has a plan for me, and maybe this has had such an impact on me because it’s part of His plan for my future. I don’t know. But I will hope and pray and trust in the Lord, because he has a plan for ALL his children.

June 21, 2010

all the things we wish we knew

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.” ~ Neil Gaiman

June 20, 2010

Oh love, don't let me go.

There are so many things that just don't make sense.

I don't understand how I can be ridiculously happy one minute and crying the next.

I don't understand how I can be insanely excited about something and highly distressed about another thing happening on the very same day.

It just doesn't seem right.

How can life change so much in just 365 days? How can people who mean the world to you one moment just slip away the next? I don't understand how someone who wanted to spend every moment with you can't seem to find a minute to spare anymore; how people you shared a part of your soul with fade away as you go separate ways; how people stop asking you how you are because it's become inconvenient; how people you pour your heart out for don't share their own heart; how people can you erase you from their lives because it's easier than dealing with the things that made it difficult; how people let go of the things they say they'd always hold on to.

Every person who has come into my life, changed me and left again has taken a part of my soul with them. Most of them have made me a better person, but it hurts to let go.

Please don't go. Stay with me. You mean more to me than you could ever know.

June 15, 2010

because you matter to me, but do I matter to you?


And now it's gone. It's gone, it's gone, it's gone ... and nobody seems to care but me.

Or maybe I'm just the only person that's going to do something about it.

June 4, 2010

please come back

I'm trying, ok?

The amount of stress this seems to be causing me really can't be that good for me. I just want it to stop, and have everything work out the way it's supposed to.



I feel like screaming.

June 3, 2010

I Like You, Let's Be Friends

Have you ever thought about how I am me
And you are you
And there is nothing we can do to change it?
 You have your life
I have mine
Our paths cross
But never do we experience
The same things
In the same way
 Is it strange that I am fascinated
By the way your world runs?
Is it strange that I find it difficult to grasp
The fact that what I have
Is what I have
And you have something different?
  Today
 We sat side by side
Occupying the same space
At the same time
 And everything I saw
Was nothing like what you see
My world satisfies
And my world defeats
But I wonder sometimes
How does your world work?
Is it strange that I am fascinated
By the way your mind works?
Is it strange that I wish I had experienced
The things you had
So that I could understand?
 Sometimes I feel so detached
And I just want you to know
That I try hard
Not to be like that
Because really all I want to do is know you.
It gets like that when you find yourself quite fond of someone. 

May 25, 2010

Better Life ♥

I've been long in need of you in my life,
I've been looking through the open doors,
And heaven knows how we could turn the other way,

Can you tell me why you let go?
Can you tell me why you let go
When you know it's true?

There's a better life,
There's a better life
And I know it's true,
There's a better life,
There's a better life
And it makes me high,

I've been chasing things at everybody likes,
I've been hoping things will work out fine,
And I feel I'll never know,
How it feels to be alone,

Can you tell me why you let go?
Can you tell me why you let go?

There's a better life,
There's a better life
And I know it's true,
There's a better life,
There's a better life
And it makes me high

Can you tell me why you let go?
 
There's a better life,
And it wait for you.
There's a better life.
There's a better life.

May 20, 2010

I wish that I could work it out....

It's a long day with short hours.



I hate how crying can feel very relieving, but also so exhausting.

May 19, 2010

Hey!

"Do not be anxious about anything; but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Chris Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Thank you for reminding me lovely :)

May 11, 2010

I missed the good part; then I realized I started looking for excuses.

I try to justify how I feel by saying to myself that what you're doing isn't good for you...

But for some reason I'm jealous. And I hate that.



May 5, 2010

Well why don't we?

So my fellow blogger and good friend Kristen wrote what she has penned as a 'Bucket Statement' on her blog Cool Is What You Make It and challenged the rest of us to write one too. So here is my Bucket Statement of the things I want to do in the future, in no particular order:

- Read the whole bible

- Write and film a movie

- Get paid for photography

- Go overseas with a friend (or two)

- Write a book and get it published

- Ballroom dance

- Become a youth leader

- See the Pyramids

- Move out of home

- Fall in love

- Learn to drive

- Do Year 13

- Take the Orient Express from Venice to London

- Take a road trip with friends

- Buy my parents something with the money I make from writing (preferably a house in Hawaii)

- Drive a motorbike

- Learn parkour

- Go white-water rafting

- Get a job

- Learn another language

- Learn to play a John Mayer song

- Sponsor a child by myself

- Memorize a whole book of the bible (probably one of Paul's letters)

- See U2 live

- See performances of Macbeth, Othello, and The Mousetrap

- Perform in a Shakespeare play

- Play a huge game of 'Monster in the Dark' with my friends

- Be a better listener

- Learn to think before I speak

- Trust God fully with the unknown